www.tokyotimes.org � Flatulent fluff

An interesting article on Japan's growing gas problem. Or is it a problem?

Why doesn't the US do this study?

Candy Retailer Book

Ahh the memories. This is before my time, but I thought it was interesting.

Did You Know That...

Keep this on the Fridge
Did You Know That?

• Drinking two glasses of Gatorade can relieve headache pain almost immediately -- without the unpleasant side effects caused by traditional "pain relievers."
• Did you know that Colgate toothpaste makes an excellent salve for burns.
• Before you head to the drugstore for a high-priced inhaler filled with mysterious chemicals, try chewing on a couple of curiously strong Altoids peppermints. They'll clear up your stuffed nose.
• Achy muscles from a bout of the flu? Mix 1 Tablespoon of horseradish in 1 cup of olive oil. Let the mixture sit for 30 minutes, then apply it as a massage oil, for instant relief for aching muscles.
• Sore throat? Just mix 1/4 cup of vinegar with 1/4 cup of honey and take 1 tablespoon six times a day. The vinegar kills the bacteria.Cure urinary tract infections with Alka-Seltzer . Just dissolve two tablets in a glass of water and drink it at the onset of the symptoms.
• Alka-Seltzer begins eliminating urinary tract infections almost instantly -- even though the product was never been advertised for this use. (Note: Alka-Seltzer Plus Cold Medicine is not the same..and contains aspirin, which can cause stomach bleeding if you have ulcers.)
• Honey remedy for skin blemishes... Cover the blemish with a dab of honey and place a Band-Aid over it. Honey kills the bacteria, keeps the skin sterile, and speeds healing. Works overnight.
• Listerine therapy for toenail fungus... Get rid of unsightly toenail fungus by soaking your toes in Listerine mouthwash. The powerful antiseptic leaves your toenails looking healthy again.
• Easy eyeglass protection... To prevent the screws in eyeglasses from loosening, apply a small drop of Maybelline Crystal Clear nail polish to the threads of the screws before tightening them.
• Coca-Cola cure for rust... Forget those expensive rust removers. Just saturate an abrasive sponge with Coca Cola and scrub the rust stain. The phosphoric acid in the coke is what gets the job done.
• Cleaning liquid that doubles as bug killer... If menacing bees, wasps, hornets, or yellow jackets get in your home and you can't find the insecticide, try a spray of Formula 409. Insects drop to the ground instantly.
• Smart splinter remover...just pour a drop of Elmer's Glue-All over the splinter, let dry, and peel the dried glue off the skin. The splinter sticks to the dried glue.
• Hunt's tomato paste boil cure....cover the boil with Hunt's tomato paste as a compress. The acids from the tomatoes soothe the pain and bring the boil to a head.
• Balm for broken blisters...To disinfect a broken blister, dab on a few drops of Listerine ... a powerful antiseptic.
• Heinz vinegar to heal bruises... Soak a cotton ball in white vinegar and apply it to the bruise for 1 hour. The vinegar reduces the blueness and speeds up the healing process.
• Kills fleas instantly. Dawn dish washing liquid does the trick. Add a few drops to your dog's bath and shampoo the animal thoroughly. Rinse well to avoid skin irritations. Goodbye fleas.
• Rainy day cure for dog odor... Next time your dog comes in from the rain, simply wipe down the animal with Bounce or any dryer sheet, instantly making your dog smell springtime fresh.
• Eliminate ear mites... All it takes is a few drops of Wesson corn oil in your cat's ear. Massage it in, then clean with a cotton ball. Repeat daily for 3 days. The oil soothes the cat's skin, smothers the mites, and accelerates healing.
• Quaker Oats for fast pain relief....It's not for breakfast anymore! Mix 2 cups of Quaker Oats and 1 cup of water in a bowl and warm in the microwave for 1 minute, cool slightly, and apply the mixture to your hands for soothing relief from arthritis pain.

happy palace

happy palace

This is a blog that contains an interesting collections of photo and drawings. It just fascinates me! Conjures up all sorts of memories in my mind.

A Day of Giving Thanks

Had a wonderful Thanksgiving. A friend of ours John had recommended a brand of turkey and it was fantastic! It is called Norbest. Try it, it was one of the meatiest turkeys I ever had (sorry vegetarians) . We dined on a meal of turkey, corn, sweet potato cassarole, mashed potatoes, green bean cassarole, sausage stuffing and bread stuffing. For dessert we had 3 kinds of pie - pumpkin, custard and pecan. We also had a chocolate cake.

What I'm Watching:
Kingdom of Heaven - Great movie about the Crusades

Turkey Day is Coming

I have had a cold the last week that has left me weak as a kitten. It's not like it's a really bad cold, I think it's the drugs I'm taking to combat it that are leaving me weak. Well, I can only hope I get rid of it before Thanksgiving. The day after Thanksgiving is the Festival of Lights Parade in Historic Downtown Crystal Lake. I am one of two DJs for the Parade. My friend Joe Bellavia is the other. If you live in the area and have never seen the Parade I highly recommend it. We have somewhere around 50 units all lit by various type of lighting. There is music, baton twirling, calliope playing and more. It's all topped off with the arrival of Santa and Mrs. Claus and the lighting of the tree. Very cool! It you stop by, make sure you say hi. I'll be the DJ by the Clock Tower.

Live in Crystal Lake? How would you like to own the first Downtown Crystal Lake Christmas Ornament. Theses are a limited edition depicting the Downtown Train Station. You can place your order at Uncle Fat's Attic. The price is $20 and the proceeds go to fund downtown programs.

We went Friday night to a Skateboard competition at Warp Skate Park in Woodstock, IL. It was great fun watching the kids do all their tricks. A friend of ours has a line of skateboards - Wiseguy Skateboards. Some of the members of his team placed in the competition. Go to his website for photos.

What I'm Watching:
Shaun of the Dead - A comical takeoff of Dawn of The Dead. If you like zombie movies, this is a must see.



Land of the Dead - The latest in George Romero's "Dead" series. Excellent!




What I'm Listening To:
WNUA Sampler Vol. 18 - 2 discs - One is great smooth jazz and the other Christmas Jazz

How to Clean Anything

Tiny Goes For A Swim

I work from home and have 4 dogs. They have to be let out every few hours or accidents happen. Yesterday afternoon, I went downstairs and let them out. I waited a few minutes and three of them were done. I went outside and picked up the little one (she's too small to climb the 2 steps leading into the house). The fourth dog - Tiny Dancer who is 16 walked up to me and then decided she still had to go. She turned around and walked back out into the grass. I thought OK, I'll give her a few more minutes. I went back upstairs to check my email. The phone rang in the meantime and I answered it. I went back downstairs and open the patio door and yelled... TINY! No response. This is not unusual since she is somewhat deaf (unless you mention the word food or cookie). I proceeded over to the dining room window and looked out.. no tiny. I went to the family room window and looked out... no tiny! Where was she? I walked out into the yard and there she was... in the Koi pond swimming with fishes. I quickly ran over and pulled her out. I dried her off with two towels. The poor thing was shivering from the cold.

She is now ok.

Koi update!

The Koi that was pulled from the depths of the our pond is still alive. It's swimming on it's side, but eating. I hope it survives the winter.

Welcome To The Retro Future

Welcome To The Retro Future

I thought this was kind of fun. It seems the future wasn't all it was cracked up to be.

A List Showing the Sony-BMG Rootkit Infected CDs

I would think twice about buying any of the CDs. They infect your computer with XCP copy protection software.

My Poor Koi

I had an episode about 1 week ago, where I let my dogs out in the yard and went back upstairs to work. I work at home and my office is upstairs. After about 5 minutes or so I went downstairs to let the dogs back in and when I opened the patio door, here is my little dog Jazzy standing over a Koi almost as big as she is on the brick pavers. Now this is about 5 feet from my Koi pond. I quickly picked the fish up and placed him/her back in the water. I also noticed a puncture mark on the top of the fish. Right away, I blamed my dog Kirby. This is something Kirby would do. He is an obnoxious dog that will eat anything that looks and smells like food. Now I have changed my mind. I don't think Kirby grabbed this poor Koi from his home. Friends of ours John and Melissa pointed these facts out to me. Was Kirby wet around his head when I found the fish? No! Would Kirby be able to sit patiently at the edge of the pond and then quickly reach in and pull out a fish? No! I don't think Kirby has the patience. I think he has A.D.D. What possibly could have pulled that poor Koi from the water? I think maybe a hawk and either the dogs scared it away or the fish was too heavy for it to carry.

What are your thoughts folks? Any theories?



Here is a picture of Kirby to the left and Jazzy below.

Memory Game

This is a fun memory game.

One Hundred and Two Things About Me!

1. OK, A lot of blog writers are doing this, so I thought I would give it a shot!
2. My favorite movie is Dawn of the Dead (original version)
3. My second favorite movie is The Omega Man (are you sensing a theme here?)
4. My favorite fruit is cherries
5. Favorite vegetable is Asparagus
6. I hate spiders, although I do like snakes. But that aint what it takes...
7. I hate people who don't use their turn signals. Even for lane changes, it's not that much work people!
8. Favorite DJ of all time - Jonathan Brandmeir and he's coming back to the Loop! (97.9 in Chicago) - Yeah Baby!
9. Favorite TV show - Survivor or Lost
10. I love steak
11. I love buttered noodles
12. Pancakes and bacon are one of my favorite breakfasts
13. Egg Benedict is my second favorite breakfast
14. I drove a 1971 Maverick with flames on the hood during high school
15. I played bass with a Hard Rock band - Salem's Fire during the early 1980's
16. I played keyboards with a group in the 70's called Magus
17. I used to be a champion Foosball player in high school
18. In grammar school, I was in 3 talent shows as a ventriloquist
19. My favorite male vocalist is Dennis DeYoung
20. I love pizza
21. I'm a huge dog lover, any size, any shape, any kind!
22. I had always planned on becoming a professional musician or actor
23. I have worked for the same company for over 26 years
24. My first computer was an Atari 400 with 16K of memory and a membrane keyboard. Yes, ou read it right 16K, not 16MB. No hard drive, just a cassette tape drive
25. My wife's name is Char.
26. I have 2 brothers and a sister. I'm the baby.
27. I once played in the Illinois State Fair Organ competition
28. I played saxaphone in the Lane Tech H.S. Band.
29. My dog's names are Tiny Dancer (Keeshond), Kirby Monroe (Keeshond), Joey Dancer (Keeshond) and Jazzy Dancer (Miniture Poodle)
30. My poodle Jazzy was born with dwarfism
31. I love smooth Jazz
32. George Benson, Jeff Beck and Peter White are 3 of my favorite guitarist, oh yeah Eddie Van Halen too.
33. I love Alice Cooper, Black Sabbath and Thin Lizzy
34. I love computers and technology, but think they will ruin the world some day. Listen to Mr Roberto by Styx and Harry's Hands by Dennis DeYoung.
35. Styx is my favorite band of all time. I have seen them perform over 20X.
36. My brother Tim has been in several movies, including "She's Having A Baby" and "Only the Lonely".
37. My father died when I was 10 years old.
38. I love the Cubs! (although I do also like the White Sox)
    My favorite Cub player of all time is a tie between Jose Cardinale and Ron Santo. Although I do like Carmine Fanzone and Joe Pepitone.
39. I have a Joe Pepitone 1st baseman's mitt.
40. I love popcorn!
41. I love building fires!
42. I like my coffee with cream and sugar
43. I like tea the same way.
44. I love building databases. I'm an information junkie!
45. I love playing Wallyball and try to play once a week.
46. I love riding my bike on a nice cool summers day.
47. I have a Koi pond with 5 Koi in my backyard.
48. I worked for White Castle for 4 years. Yes, I still eat there.
49. I co-owned and operated a wedding dj company for 13 years.
50. I try very hard not to use profanity in public. Now, in private... thats another matter. ;-)
51. I've always wanted to own a hot tub.
52. I love to eat broasted chicken!
53. I think I'm good at training people. Maybe I should have been a teacher.
54. I had a mustache for 25 years and I shaved it off 2 years ago. I know my profile photo Shows me with it on.
55. Steam rooms are fantastic!
56. I worked as an orderly in a hospital for one day.
57. I love Sushi and Japanese food.
58. I'm heavy into genealogy.
59. My name is Mark because I was born on St. Mark's Day. It's on Luthern calendars.
60. My 3rd favorite movie is the new version of Dawn of the Dead.
61. I love to practice the art of Tai Chi. Scott Cole is my favorite instructor.
62. I listen to New Age music and light Jazz while I work. I also have a fountain going and sometimes I burn incense. Wow, does that sound weird or what!
63. I drive a Saturn 4 door sedan.
64. My weight has ranged from 165 pounds to 206 pounds in the last 20 years. I now weigh 175 pounds.
65. I actually love my job and everyone I work with.
66. I love eggrolls!
67. I love Chinese, Indian, Thai and Italian food
68. My favorite authors are: Stephen King, James Rollins, Jeffrey Deaver, Patricia Cornwell, James Patterson, John Sanford and Douglas Preston, Lincoln Child
69. I have read every Harry Potter book, except for the new one.
70. I am 5'11" tall.
71. I am a huge fan of the Andy Griffith Show
72. I collect memorabilia from the 1898 Columbian Exposition (Chicago Worlds Fair)
73. I collect memorabilia from the Our Gang comedies.
74. I'm right handed
75. I used to have a motorcycle - a Yamaha 650
76. I am learning how to play golf and love it!
77. I am one of two djs for the Downtown Crystal Lake Classic Car Nights
78. I have always wanted to play tennis.
79. I love to play raquetball.
80. I owned a disc jockey company for 13 years with one of my friends. We had 3 systems and did mostly weddings.
81. I am the announcer for the Crystal Lake Festival of Lights Parade. Come and see me the Friday night after Thanksgiving in Historic Downtown Crystal Lake.
82. I love the movie - West Side Story.
83. I have a sister Dawn, A brother Tim and another brother Kevin. I am the youngest.
84. I attended Wm. Gray Elementary school.
85. I attended Lane Tech HS for 2 years and Foreman HS for 2 years.
86. I attended Triton College for 2 years.
87. The only places I have ever been outside of the United States are Puerto Rico, Virgin Islands and the Bahamas. All 3 were ports on a cruise.
88. I've traveled to the following states - Illinois, Wisconsin, Indiana, Kentucky, Missouri, Tennessee, Hawaii, California, Arizonia, Kansas, Florida, Georgia, Nevada, Ohio and Iowa.
89. As far as I know I am a blend of Irish, German, English and Welsh.
90. I enjoy doing Suduko puzzles.
91. My wife and I own a store named "Uncle Fat's Attic". You can visit our online store @ http://www.unclefatsattic.com/
92. I was born and raised on the Northwest side of Chicago.
93. I have lived in Chicago, Bensenville, Aurora, Arlington Heights and Lake In The Hills. All in Illinois.
94. My favorite Chicago pizza places are Georgios, Lou Malnati's and Giordanos.
95. My favorite Chicago Hot Dog places are Gene and Judes in River Grove. Gina's in Bensenville and Portillos (all over the place).
96. My favorite Italian Beef places are Portillos (all over) and Roma's on Cicero in Chicago.
97. My favorite BBQ Rib place is Crystal Lake Ribs in Crystal Lake.
98. My favorite book and music store is Borders.
99. Favorite Italian places are Franchescas (all over) and Biagis (Algonquin).
100. Favorite Japanese restaurants are Torishin in Mount Prospect and Bistro Wasabi in Lake In The Hills.
101. Favorite submarine or hero sandwich - Hero's on Western and Addison in Chicago. 2nd best Bob-A-Rino's on Central in Chicago. Sorry Bob!
102. Favorite Guitar players are George Benson, Jeff Beck, Carlos Santana, Peter White and Eddie Van Halen.
103. I consider myself a Baptist. I attend Springbrook Church in Huntley, IL. I volunteer for the hosting Ministry, Connections Ministry, Kids of The Kingdom and the Production Ministry.
     

I know it's late, but...

Here is a picture of our dog - Jazzy dressed as a queen for Halloween. On Halloween Downtown Crystal Lake had a Halloween Handout. So at our store - Uncle Fat's Attic we sat out in fron with Jazzy and our neighbor - Cut N' Cuddle Dog Grooming had their dog Nick (a standard poodle) dressed as a Chicago Bull. The fun never ends!

Manufacturers Blog: CoolStuffBeingMade.com (Weekend Video) Archives

This is a cool site by the National Association of Manufacturers. It has some great videos of how "stuff" is made! Sit back and enjoy!

When Mexican Restaurants Go Bad

Last night we went to what was once our favorite Mexican restaurant with a couple of friends. What a disaster! It all started when we asked for a refill on the tortilla chips. It took at least 10 minutes to get a refill, that was after asking again. After when seemed forever the food finally came. My wife and our friend Judy had Chicken Fajitas. The Fajitas came, but the tortillas did not. We had to ask several times before we got them. When they finally came, the corn tortillas were tostata tortillas. Gus and I ordered Skirt steak dinners, when they came it was not skirt steak. What a train wreck! I will think twice before going there again. I will not mention any names here

Latest Pet Peeve:
I really hate it when someone takes a frozen or refrigerated item out of their cart at a grocery store and leaves it on a shelve somewhere else in the store. Not only does that make groceries more expensive for us but for them as well. Get a clue people!

What I'm Watching:
Final Destination 2

If you like the original you will like this as well.



Hats off to the Chicago White Sox! World Champions!

Fun and Games

OK, I recently got hooked on 2 games. I thought I would share them with you.

The first one is called Suduko. It's a logic game where you have to fill in numbers on a grid. Lots of fun. Makes a great Christmas present for young and old.

Here is a handheld electronic version.



This is a version for your computer:



And here is the paper version:



The next game is a card game called Set. It's addictive and rewires your brain and the way you think!

Halloween Contest - Pet Costumes

Halloween Contest

Laws of The Natural Universe

These are the laws of the natural universe:

Law of Mechanical Repair:
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.

Law of the Workshop:
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

Law of the Telephone:
When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.

Law of the Alibi:
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire,
the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

Variation Law:
If you change lines or traffic lanes, the one you were in will start to
move faster than the one you are in now.

Bath Theorem:
When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

Law of Lines:
When you walk IN the grocery store, there's never anyone in
the checkout line.

Inverse Hair Dryer Law:
You're sure you hear the phone ringing in the background,
until you turn the hair dryer off.

Law of Close Encounters:
The probability of meeting someone you know increases when
you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

Law of the Result:
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

Law of Bio mechanics:
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

Theater Law:
At any event, the people whose seats are farthest from the
aisle arrive last.

Law of Coffee:
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will
ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

Murphy's Law of Lockers:
If there are only two people in a locker room,
they will have adjacent lockers.

Law of Natural Attraction:
If you and your date are the only two on a five-mile stretch of beach,
the family of five will set up right next to you.

Law of Dirty Rugs/Carpets:
The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a
floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of
the carpet/rug.

Law of Location:
No matter where you go, there you are.

Law of Logical Argument:
Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

Oliver's Law:
A closed mouth gathers no feet.

Law of the Last Word:
"Hey, watch this!"

Telephone Message Pad

And now for something completly different...

Here is a word of warning to checkout clerks in all stores across the United States. When you open a new checkout line. Take the next person in line, don't announce - "I can take someone over here". That is just pure supidity. You get a mad rush from everyone including people who just pulled their carts up in line. Get a clue folks! I don't just blame the checkout clerks, I blame the stores for not training their employees correctly.

Just another rant from me!

Fall is here, the leaves are turning

I love fall! The color of the leaves on the trees. There's nothing like it. Had a nice weekend, the weather was beautiful. Deep fried a turkey and went on a 12 mile bike ride along the Fox river. Our dog Tiny is not doing very well. She is a Keeshond and will be turning 16 next Monday. We owned both of her parents - Maxwell Edison and April Dancer. They had 5 pupplies and we kept the runt of the litter - Tiny Dancer. I'm hoping she will at least make it to her birthday. God bless her little heart.

What I'm Reading:

Broken Prey - A Lucas Davenport Mystery



What I'm Watching:

Frankenstein

Painting The House

We started painting the house on Monday. After trying to pick colors for about 3-4 years, we finally decided on a combination right out of Better Homes and Gardens.

When we purchased our home the paint on the cedar trim looked great for the first year. It was all down hill after that. I think they used even a cheaper crappier paint than inside. The white started to darken and got worse and worse and worse. The trim around the side garage door, just completely fell off. So just the bare wood was left.

We painted for about 6 hours on Monday. Boy, did we feel it the next day! It's a bitch getting old!

I have trim around the windows on the second floor. Now, I had a brilliant idea. I will climb out the front bedroom window and stand on the roof and paint it. I open the bedroom window and try to take the screen out. It's in upside down! Crap! I go to the next bedroom... that screen is in backwards! Great builder huh! Now I am going to have to get the big old extension ladder our and climb the roof and paint. Then I will have to fix the screens from the outside.

Maybe I will take a picture today and post it! Kinda a somewhat before and after.

Oh, I almost forgot! We had a house guest over the weekend. A friend of ours needs us to watch one of her dogs for a couple of days. The dog's name was Alex. Alex is part Cocker Spaniel and something else. He is a very cool and calm dog. I felt very sorry for him the first night. Our male dog Kirby just stood in his face and barked and barked and barked. Poor Alex just cowered by my wife all night for protection. The next day was different, Alex and the other dogs played like they had known each other forever.

How To Carve A Pumpkin!

I posted this before, but the link did not work, so here it is again.

This is a video on how to carve a pumpkin. Make sure the sound is on, there is music.

http://www.liquidgeneration.com/sabotage/pumpkin_carve.asp

What's The Deal With Internet Coupons

My wife and I went shopping the other night to the local Woodman's grocery store. I love to use coupons and use them wherever I can. So at the checkout I hand the girl my coupons and she asks me - "Is this an internet coupon?". I answer "why yes it is." "I'm sorry, but we can't accept internet coupons". I ask her "You have accepted them from me in the past". She replies "We don't accept them any longer, they are too easy to copy". So now I'm majorly pissed off. I should have told them I didn't want the Boca Burgers in my cart, which the coupon was for. But, my Char wasn't feeling great at the moment and we decided to just leave.

Now, the way I see it if a company puts coupons on the internet they are well aware of the dangers of copying. The company will reimburse the grocery no matter what. And after all the main purpose they are placing those coupons out there is an incentive for people to buy there product. So even if people are copying the damn coupons, people are buying their products.

What are your thoughts folks? Am I pissing in the wind?

UFO Maps

Cool combination of Google Map and UFO sightings.

Hey, I thought it was interesting!

How To Carve A Pumpkin

Great instructional video on how to carve a fancy pumpkin.

Tips for Living a Stress Free Life

These were included in an email sent to me by my uncle - Denny Bell. Want an interesting gift for someone? Visit his website - http://cedarstump.us/ He is a wood carver and I'm sure you will love what you see.

Tip for Stress Free Living

* Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue.

* Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.

* Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.

* Drive carefully. It's not only cars that can be recalled by their maker.

* If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.

* If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

* It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

* Never buy a car you can't push.

* Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you won't have a leg to stand on.

* Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

* Since it's the early worm that gets eaten by the bird, sleep late.

* The second mouse gets the cheese.

* When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

* Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.

* You may be only one person in the world, but you may also be the world
to one person.

* Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once

* We could learn a lot from crayons. Some are sharp, some are pretty and
some are dull. Some have weird names, and all are different colors, but they all have to live in the same box.

* A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.

Remember we are all on this planet for a short time, so let's all get along and play together as one team... the human race!

The Buzz is...

I've been very busy. This is a good thing. It's hard to believe it's October already! The weather has been great, but I'm waiting for a frost any day now. I'll just give a quick recap of what I'm doing.

What I'm Reading:

Dean Koontz's Frankenstein Book Two:City of Night



My rating - 3 stars. I really like this 2nd installment in the series. The whole premise of Frankenstein being alive after 200 years is fascinating. I highly recommend it. The only drawback is the 3rd and final book won't be out until the summer of 2006.

What I'm watching (movies):

Resident Evil: Apocalypse



My Rating - 3 stars. If you enjoyed the first movie, check this one out. I look forward to the next installment. I guess it is called Resident Evil: Afterlife and will come out in 2006. I just love any movie with the undead walking the earth.

What I'm Watching on TV:

Ghost Hunters

This show is on the Sci-Fi channel. The TAPS team (The Atlantic Paranormal Society) go to various reputed hauntings across the US and try and either prove or disprove the story. The founders Jason Hawes and Grant Wilson, who are also plumbers during the day along with their team are not your everyday ghost geeks.



My wife and I love this show.

Want to be a Ghost Hunter?





What I can recommend for you to use:

Want a nice vacuum, but can't afford an expensive one with all the attachments?
Try the Dirt Devil Dynomite. Nothing fancy, inexpensive and works great. I have 4 dogs, 3 of which shed hair like crazy and this picks it all up with little effort. Hey, it's bagless to boot!

Thing to Ponder

For those who love the philosophy of hypocrisy and ambiguity....

1. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
2. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor...
3. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
4. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
5. The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
6. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
7. What if there were no hypothetical questions?
8. If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
9. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered ahostage situation?
10. Is there another word for synonym?
11. Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?"
12. What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
13. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
14. Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
15. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
16. If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
17. Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?
18. If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
19. Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?
20. How do they get deer to cross the road only at those yellow road signs?
21. What was the best thing before sliced bread?
22. One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.
23. Does the Little Mermaid wear an algaebra?
24. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
25. How is it possible to have a civil war?
26. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown, too?
27. If you ate both pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?
28. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
29. Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have "S" in it?
30. Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "assteroids"?
31. Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot them?
32. Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
33. If you spin an oriental man in a circle three times does he become disoriented?

What Does Love Mean?

A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, "What does love mean?" The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined. See what you think:

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"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love."
Rebecca- age 8
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"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth."
Billy - age 4
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"Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other."
Karl - age 5
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"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs."
Chrissy - age 6
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"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired."
Terri - age 4
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"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK."
Danny - age 7
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"Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss"
Emily - age 8
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"Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen."
Bobby - age 7 (Wow!)
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"If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate,"
Nikka - age 6
(we need a few million more Nikka's on this planet)
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"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday."
Noelle - age 7
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"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well."
Tommy - age 6
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"During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore."
Cindy - age 8
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"My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night."
Clare - age 6
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"Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken."
Elaine-age 5
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"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford."
Chris - age 7
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"Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day."
Mary Ann - age 4
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"I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones."
Lauren - age 4
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"When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you." (what an image)
Karen - age 7
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"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross."
Mark - age 6
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget."
Jessica - age 8
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And the final one -- Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked about a contest he was asked to judge. The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child.

The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife.
Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there. When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said, "Nothing, I just helped him cry"

Johnny Appleseed Is Coming!

September 24, 2005 is the Johnny Appleseed Festival in Historic Downtown Crystal Lake. Come on down and have some great family fun! I will be the Disc Jockey for some of the events.

Ji Lee Pleaseenjoy

Ji Lee printed 50,000 ballon stickers and placed them on poster all over New York. See what people wrote on them!

Humor: They Walk Among Us!

IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD: I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road. The reason: "too many deer were being hit by cars" and he didn't want them to cross there anymore. This one was from Kingman, KS.

---

IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE: My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg. And he was a Kansas City chef!

---

IDIOT SIGHTING: I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge? To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know? He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask." Happened in Birmingham, Ala.

---

IDIOT SIGHTING: The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine when she asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are blind people doing driving?!" She ! was a probation officer in Wichita, KS

---

IDIOT SIGHTING: At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker who was leaving the company due to "downsizing," our manager commented cheerfully, this is fun. We should do this more often." Not a word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare. This was a bunch at Texas Instruments.

---

IDIOT SIGHTING: I work with an individual who plugged her power strip Back into itself and for the life of her couldn't understand why her system would not turn on. A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriff's office no less.

---

IDIOT SIGHTING: When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver's side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the technician, "it's open!" To which he replied, "I know - I already got that side." This was at the Ford dealership in Canton, Mississippi!

Home Remedies

1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of
boiling water down your throat and presto. The blockage will be almost
instantly removed.

2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting
someone else to hold them while you chop away.

3. Avoid arguments with the little woman about lifting the toilet seat by
simply using the sink.

4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a
few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a
timer.

5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from
rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives. Then you will
be afraid to cough.

7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will
forget about the toothache.

Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are:

You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and
should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.

Remember:

Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.

If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You get another chance.

And finally, be really nice to your family and friends; you never know
when you might need them to empty your bedpan.

Labor Day Weekend

Had a great long weekend! Went to see the 2 bands on Saturday at the Summer Sunset Festival in Lake in the Hills. BritBeat A fantastic Beatles tribute band. They were the opening act for The Buckinghams. I have seen the Buckinghams 5-6 times over the last 20 years and this was by far the best performance I have ever seen. They had a 3 piece horn section with them that really made the show.

On Sunday, my nephew Sean was married to his Fiancee - Georgia. The ceremony was held at the Holy Trinity Greek Orthodox Church on Diversey in Chicago. The reception was held at the Bristol Court in Mount Prospect. Food was great and the company was even better! It is always great to have the entire family together for an event.

We went to my sister's on Monday for a BBQ. We dined on BBQ hamburgers, oriental salad and mandarin orange salad. We had some wonderful desserts and great conversation.

What I'm Watching:

Which barbecue is which? - Lifestyle - MSNBC.com

Interesting little article on regional BBQ meats, styles and sauces!

Urinal's From Around The World... Enjoy Ladies!

Encyclopedia of Chicago

This is a site showing the history of Chicago

Our Government at its finest

Why We are in Trouble ... from a Travel Agent's point of view

Below are some stories from a person who was a Travel Agent for thirty Years.
Following are examples of why our country is in trouble!

I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman ask for an aisle seat so that her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window.

I got a call from a candidate's staffer, who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information, then she interrupted me with, "I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts," Without trying to make her look stupid, I calmly explained, "Cape Cod is in Massachusetts, Capetown is in Africa," Her response - click.

A senior Vermont Congressman called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that's not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state. He replied, "Don't lie to me, I looked on the map and Florida is a very thin state!

I got a call from a lawmaker's wife who asked, "Is it possible to see England from Canada?" I said, "No." She said, "But they look so close on the map."

An aide for a president's cabinet member once called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas. When I pulled up the reservation, I noticed he had only a 1-hour layover in Dallas. When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, "I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we will need a car to drive between gates to save time."

An Illinois Congresswoman called last week. She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:30 am and got to Chicago at 8:33 am. I explained that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois, but she couldn't understand the concept of time zones. Finally, I told her the plane went fast, she bought that.

A New York lawmaker called and asked, "Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to whom?" I said, "No, why do you ask?" She replied, "Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said (FAT), and I'm overweight. I think that's very rude?" After putting her on hold for a minute while I 'looked into it' (I was laughing) I came back and explained the city code for Fresno, CA is (FAT), and the airline was just putting a destination tag on her luggage.

A Senator's aide called to inquire about a trip package to Hawaii. After going over all the cost info, she asked, "Would it be cheaper to fly to California, and then take the train to Hawaii?"
I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman who asked, "How do I know which plane to get on?" I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, "I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these darn planes have numbers on them."

A lady Senator called and said, "I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola, Florida. Do I have to get on one of those little computer planes?" I asked if she meant fly to Pensacola, Fl. on a commuter plane. She said, "Yeah, whatever!"

A senior Senator called and had a question about the documents he needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded him that he needed a visa. "Oh, no I don't. I've been to China many times and never had to have one of those." I double checked and sure enough, his stay required a visa. When I told him this he said, "Look, I've been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express!"

A New Mexico Congresswoman called to make reservations, "I want to go from Chicago to Rhino, New York." The agent was at a loss for words. Finally, the agent said, "Are you sure that's the name of the town?" Yes, what flights do you have?" replied the lady. After some searching, the agent came back with, "I'm sorry, ma'am, I've looked up every airport code in the country and can't find a Rhino anywhere." The lady retorted, "Oh, don't be silly! Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!" The agent scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, "You don't mean Buffalo, do you?" "That's it! I knew it was a big animal," she said.

Now you know why Government is in the shape that it's in!

Amazing Sand Castles

A Day in the Life

Nothing exciting going on! Actually working hard on removing the nasty looking pile of mulch from our driveway that has been sitting there since May. Oh, it's been slowly dwindling down mind you but not quick enough. I think I am finally down to about 3 or 4 wheel barrows full.

Tonight is Classic Car night in Historic Downtown Crystal Lake. The weather forecast shows rain most of the day. Let's hope it doesn't, or car night will be cancelled. It was cancelled last week and the rain stopped. I'm one of the DJ's for the event and I need the money. So pray for no rain! At least from about 2:00 pm to 9:00 pm. Then it can rain buckets and buckets!

What I'm Reading:

Twelfth Card - Jeffrey Deaver - Another Lincoln Rhyme novel. I have read almost every book writtern by Jeffrey Deaver. Every book was great, this is no exception, some great plot twists.

What I'm Watching:

Secret Window - Excellent movie. I pretty much enjoy anything with Johnny Depp



See what I'm selling on EBay!

Classic Television Quiz

Quiz

Humor - Chinese Proverbs (caution - this could be offensive to some people)

Virginity like bubble, one prick, all gone.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who run in front of car get tired.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who run behind car get exhausted.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man with one chopstick go hungry.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who scratch ass should not bite fingernails.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Baseball is wrong: man with four balls cannot walk.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Panties not best thing on earth! But next to best thing on earth.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
It take many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who drive like hell, bound to get there.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who fart in church sit in own pew.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Crowded elevator smell different to midget.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Humor - DEEP OBSERVATIONS ON LIFE

DEEP OBSERVATIONS ON LIFE



1) When I die, I want to die like my grandfather--who died
peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the
passengers in his car."
--Author Unknown

2) Advice for the day: If you have a lot of tension and you
get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle:
"Take two aspirin" and "Keep away from children."
--Author Unknown

3) "Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a
support group for that! It's called EVERYBODY, and they
meet at the bar."
--Drew Carey

4) "The problem with the designated driver program, it's
not a desirable job, but if you ever get sucked into
doing it, have fun with it. At the end of the night,
drop them off at the wrong house."
--Jeff Foxworthy

5) "If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball
and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the
infant's life without even considering if there is a man on base."
--Dave Barry

6) "Relationships are hard. It's like a full time job, and
we should treat it like one. If your boyfriend or girlfriend
wants to leave you, they should give you two weeks' notice.
There should be severance pay, the day before they leave
you, they should have to find you a temp."
--Bob Ettinger

7) "My Mom said she learned how to swim when someone took
her out in the lake and threw her off the boat. I said, 'Mom,
they weren't trying to teach you how to swim.'"
--Paula Poundstone

8) "A study in the Washington Post says that women have
better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the
authors of that study: "Duh."
--Conan O'Brien

9) "Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant?? I'm
halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh my God....
I could be eating a slow learner."
--Lynda Montgomery

10) "I think that's how Chicago got started. Bunch of
people in New York said, 'Gee, I'm enjoying the crime
and the poverty, but it just isn't cold enough. Let's
go west.'"
--Richard Jeni

11) "If life were fair, Elvis would be alive and all the
impersonators would be dead."
--Johnny Carson

12) "Sometimes I think war is God's way of teaching us
geography."
--Paul Rodriguez

13) "My parents didn'! t want to move to Florida, but they
turned sixty and that's the law."
--Jerry Seinfeld

14) "Remember in elementary school, you were told that in
case of fire you have to line up quietly in a single file line
from smallest to tallest. What is the logic in that? What,
do tall people burn slower?"
--Warren Hutcherson

15) "Bigamy is having one wife/husband too many. Monogamy is
the same."
--Oscar Wilde

16) "Supppose you were an idiot ... And suppose you were a
member of Congress... But I repeat myself."
--Mark Twain

17) "Our bombs are smarter than the average high school
student. At least they can find Afghanistan."
--A. Whitney Brown

18) "You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog
will give you a look that says, 'My God, you're right!
I never would've thought of that!'"
--Dave Barry

19) Do you know why they call it "PMS"? Because "Mad Cow
Disease" was taken.
--Unknown, presumed deceased

I'm Back In The Saddle Again!

I'm back from my business trip in Olathe, KS. I flew back in Friday night into O'Hare airport on an extremely bumpy flight. Saturday was a wild day! I had to install 4 Stained Glass Overlay windows into a customers house at 10:00 am. I took a wrong turn and got to the customer's house 15 minutes late, so the day started out a little bad. The install took a little longer than expected, so I had to rush and pick up our lunch at Burger King (they have a great hot shrimp salad). Brought it back to our store and eat quickly. I had another appointment to go to, so I just made it there.

After work, we were invited to a friend's house - John and Melissa Sirridge for a smoked meat smorgasbord. John smoked a turkey breast, pork and salmon. Wow were they delicious! The turkey was as moist and flavorful as can be. We then proceeded to drink Grappa, which is a drink made from wine. This stuff goes down smooth as silk with an afterburn that will wake you up!

We followed up the Grappa with delicious peanut clusters made by Pam Winters. Now these were no ordinary peanut clusters. Pam added some butterscotch chips and a secret ingredient to make them dee-lect-able!

Sunday we are making the trip down to the Merchandise Mart in Chicago for the July gift show. We need to look for holiday gifts to sell at our store - Uncle Fat's Attic.

Things You Never Knew Existed : Finger Nose Trimmer (#80337)

Things You Never Knew Existed : Finger Nose Trimmer (#80337)

Sunday... A Little Late

Well, the weekend was good! Sidewalk Sales in Historic Downtown Crystal Lake went well despite the attempts of Mother Nature to squash it with extreme heat.

Sunday, the wife and I went out and played golf at Pine Tree National. If you are in the Harvard, IL area check this golf course out. It is the hidden gem of Northern Illinois. After golfing we decided to go out to dinner with a couple of friends at Deeter's German restaurant in Woodstock, IL. They have an all you can eat Weinershnitzel dinner on Sunday's. Delicious meal! I highly recommend it.

I'm out of town right now in Olathe, KS. Blogging will be light this week. My DJ replacement this week at Crystal Lake Classic Car night will be none other Than Joe Bellavia! Joe has been called out of retirement once more to show off his vocal talents. Visit Joe Thursday, July 21st from 6:00 pm to 8:30 at Classic Car Night!

I will return as DJ on July 28th, just in time for the Clydesdale Horses to arrive. See ya then!

Tattooed Fruit Is on Way - New York Times

Tattooed Fruit Is on Way - New York Times

I Believe...

I believe- that we don't have to change friends if we understand that friends change.
I believe- that no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.
I believe- that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love.
I believe- that it's taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.
I believe- that you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.
I believe- that you can keep going long after you can't.
I believe- that either you control your attitude or it controls you.
I believe- that heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.
I believe- that money is a lousy way of keeping score.
I believe- that my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.
I believe- that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down, will be the ones to help you get back up.
I believe- that sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.
I believe- that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated.
I believe- that it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others, sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.
I believe- that no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn't stop for your grief.
I believe- that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.
I believe- that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.
I believe- that your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don't even know you.
I believe- that even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out, you will find the strength to help.
I believe- that credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.

Humor - Lift Chair For Seniors

Cute Picture

Humor - 25 Sign of Growing Up

1. Your houseplants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them.
2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.
3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed.
5. You hear your favorite song in an elevator.
6. You watch the Weather Channel.
7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of "hook up" and "break-up."
8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.
9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up."
10. You're the one calling the police because those %&@# kids next door won't turn down the stereo.
11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.
12. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.
13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.
14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's leftovers.
15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
16. You take naps from noon to 6 PM
17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.
18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach.
19. If you're a gal, you go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms and pregnancy tests.
20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good stuff."
21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.
22. "I just can't drink the way I used to" replaces "I'm never going to drink that much again."
23 . 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.
24. You drink at home to save money before going to a bar.
25. You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that doesn't apply to you and can't find one to save your sorry old ass!

Saturday In The Park

Had a great day on Saturday! Although it was a slow day at Uncle Fat's Attic, the rest of the day was fun! I went out with a friend to Plum Tree Golf Course in Harvard, IL and played nine holes. I'm getting a little better with his training. I hit a 50. What a gorgeous day. We then met up with our wives and went out to dinner at Jimmy Buffet's Cheeseburger in Paradise. The food was quite good. We stated out with a fish chowder soup which was delicious, I had a Costa Rican skirt steak wrap for dinner. Char had a Grilled Caribbean Chicken breast sandwich. We shared a Key Lime Pie for dessert. All in all, not a bad day!

Memo From God

MEMO FROM GOD



To: YOU Date: TODAY From: THE BOSS Subject: YOURSELF Reference: LIFE

I am God. Today I will be handling all of your problems. Please remember that I do not need your help.

If life happens to deliver a situation to you that you cannot handle, do not attempt to resolve it. Kindly put it in the SFGTD (something for God to do) box. All situations will be resolved, but in My time, not yours.


Once the matter is placed into the box, do not hold onto it by worrying about it. Instead, focus on all the wonderful things that are present in your life now.


If you find yourself stuck in traffic; Don't despair. There are people in this world for whom driving is an unheard of privilege.


Should you have a bad day at work; Think of the man who has been out of work for years.


Should you despair over a relationship gone bad; Think of the person who has never known what it's like to love and be loved in return.


Should you grieve the passing of another weekend; Think of the woman in dire straits, working twelve hours a day, seven days a week to feed her children.


Should your car break down, leaving you miles away from assistance; Think of the paraplegic who would love the opportunity to take that walk.


Should you notice a new gray hair in the mirror; Think of the cancer patient in chemo who wishes she had hair to examine.


Should you find yourself at a loss and pondering what is life all about, asking what is my purpose? Be thankful. There are those who didn't live long enough to get the opportunity.


Should you find yourself the victim of other people's bitterness, ignorance, smallness or insecurities; Remember, things could be worse. You could be one of them!


Should you decide to send this to a friend Thank you, you may have touched their life in ways you will never know

Humor - How do these people survive?

ONE
Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you
could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half
dozen nuggets. "We don't have half dozen nuggets," said the teenager at the
counter. "You don't?" I replied. "We only have six, nine, or twelve," was
the reply. "So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?"
"That's right." So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets

TWO
I was checking out at the local Walmart with just a few items
and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up
one of those "dividers" that they keep by the cash register and placed it
between our things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the girl had scanned
all of my items, she picked up the "divider," looking it all over for the
bar code so she could scan it. Not finding the bar code she said to me, "Do
you know how much this is?" I said to her "I've changed my mind, I don't
think I'll buy that today." She said "OK," and I paid her for the things
and left. She had no clue to what had just happened.

THREE
A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her
floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to what she
was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking
for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM "thingy."

FOUR
I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. "Do
you need some help?" I asked. She replied, "I knew I should have replaced
the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do
you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a
battery to fit this?" "Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm, too?" I asked.
"No, just this remote thingy," she answered, handing it and the car keys to
me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, "Why don't
you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long walk."

FIVE
Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One
day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out of
typing paper. What do I do?" "Just use copier machine paper," the secretary
told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of
paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five "blank" copies.

SIX
I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large motor home was
towed into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire need of repair
and the whole thing generally looked like an extra in "Twister." I asked
the manager what had happened. He told me that the driver had set the
"cruise control" and then went in the back to make a sandwich.

SEVEN
My neighbor works in the operations department in the central
office of a large bank. Employees in the field call him when they have
problems with their computers. One night he got a call from a woman in one
of the branch banks who had this question: "I've got smoke coming from the
back of my terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?"


EIGHT
Police in Radnor, Pa., interrogated a suspect by placing a metal
colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine.
The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police pressed the
copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth.
Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed.

NINE
A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs
to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid was eating ants. The
dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and should be fine, the
mother says, I just gave him some ant killer..... Dispatcher: Rush him in
to emergency!

Life is tough. It's tougher if you're stupid."

The Latest, The Greatest

Last night we went out to the driving range and hit a bucket o' balls and then played 18 holes of minature golf. It was a beautiful night out, warm yet comfortable. Would ya believe I'm starting to hit the ball straight! I'm not totally consistant, but what the heck, I'm having fun!
Who is the guy playing bass in the photo below? More to come!

Mini Golf - Computer Style

Fun For The Whole Family!

Bubble Girl

Bubble Girl

This is interesting! Kinda like a Lava Lamp!

Birthday Calculator

Birthday Calculator

This site gives you interesting details about your birthday. It even shows you what the moon looked like on the night you were born.

Humor - Cowboy Chili

Take a deep breath before you start-------------

This young cowboy walks into a seedy cafe in a small town in West Texas.

He sits at the counter and notices an older cowboy with his arms folded staring blankly at a bowl of chili.

After about 15 minutes of just sitting there staring at it, the young cowboy bravely asks, "if you ain't goin to eat that, mind if I do"?

The older cowboy slowly turns his head toward the young wrangler and in his best cowboy manner states "Nah, go ahead". Eagerly, the young cowboy reaches over and slides the bowl over to his place and starts spooning it in with delight.

He gets nearly down to the bottom and notices a rotten dead rat in the chili. The sight was shocking and he immediately pukes up the chili into the bowl.

The old cowboy quietly says, "Yep, that's as far as> I got, too"

U_thrill_me

U_thrill_me - Page: 1 of 1

George Barris and Butch Patrick

Last night, Class Car Night in Downtown Crystal Lake had the privilage of having George Barris and Butch Patrick stop by and say hello. They are appearing at the Volo Auto Museum on July 3rd. Both of these guys are class acts and it was a pleasure to meet them.

Here I am with George Barris, King of the Customs. George is a true genius with cars!


Here I am with the legendary star of stage and screen - Butch Patrick! What a great guy!

Here I am with George, Butch and a woman from the Volo Auto Museum! If you get the chance, go see George and Butch there on July 3rd, 2005. You will be glad you went!

Humor - Actual 911 Calls

Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?
Caller: I heard what sounded like gunshots coming from the brown house on the corner.
Dispatcher: Do you have an address?
Caller: No, I'm wearing a blouse and slacks, why?

Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?
Caller: Someone broke into my house and took a bite out of my ham and cheese sandwich.
Dispatcher: Excuse me?
Caller: I made a ham and cheese sandwich and left it on the kitchen table and when I came back from the bathroom, someone had taken a bite out of it.
Dispatcher: Was anything else taken?
Caller: No, but this has happened to me before and I'm sick and tired of it.

Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?
Caller: Hi, is this the Police?
Dispatcher: This is 9-1-1. Do you need police assistance?
Caller: Well, I don't know who to call. Can you tell me how to cook a turkey? I've never cooked one before.

Dispatcher: 9-1-1 Fire or emergency?Caller: Fire, I guess.Dispatcher: How can I help you sir?Caller: I was wondering.....does the fire department put snow chains on their trucks?Dispatcher: Yes sir, do you have an emergency?
Caller: Well, I've spent the last 4 hours trying to put these chains on my tires and... well.. do you think the fire department could come over and help me?
Dispatcher: Help you what?
Caller: Help me get these chains on my car!

Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is the nature of your emergency?
Caller: I'm trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn't have an eleven on it.
Dispatcher: This is nine eleven.
Caller: I thought you just said it was nine-one-one
Dispatcher: Yes, ma'am nine-one-one and nine-eleven are the same thing.
Caller: Honey, I may be old, but I'm not stupid.

Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What's the nature of your emergency?
Caller: My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart.
Dispatcher: Is this her first child?
Caller: No, you idiot! This is her husband!

And the winner is..........

Dispatcher: 9-1-1
Caller: Yeah, I'm having trouble breathing. I'm all out of breath. Darn....I think I'm going to pass out.
Dispatcher: Sir, where are you calling from?
Caller: I'm at a pay phone. North and Foster.Dispatcher: Sir, an ambulance is on the way. Are you an asthmatic?
Caller: No
Dispatcher: What were you doing before you started having trouble breathing?
Caller: Running from the Police.

Pictures From My Sister's Anniversary Blowout

I love calling party's blowouts. It's not a word you get to use often enough! ;-)
What consititutes a blowout anyway?

From left to right - my sister Dawn, my brother-in-law Tom's sister Mitzi, her husband Tom and my brother-in-law Tom

My niece Randee and her husband Mike

From left to right - my nephew Scott's wife Gail, my nephew Scott, my nephew Curt's wife Michele and my nephew Curt.

My great-nice Bridgette eating cake. This is my niece Randee's youngest daughter.

Not shown:

Gail and Scott's two daughters - Abigail and Sarah

Randee and Mike other 2 children - Kelsey and Benjamin

Michele and Curt's two daughters - Haley and Kelly

Last Couple O' Days

Had a great extended weekend!

On Saturday we went to a graduation party at our friends house Cindy and Stash for their son Danny. Food was good, but more important the company was great. It's always nice seeing friends that you don't see often and getting together in a casual social setting to just plain simple... shoot the bullcrap!

Sunday came along and after during yardwork in the hot sun, we went to my sister Dawn and her husband Tom's wedding anniversary party. They have been married 45 years! God Bless them! My brother-in-law threw the party at a mexican restaurant - El Meson Mexican Restaurant in Schaumburg. Char and I dined on the El Meson Combination dinner. It consisted of a seasoned skirt steak, a chicken taco and a chicken enchilada. Very tasty!

Monday, I took the day off. We took a ride into Chicago and went to the Museum of Science and Industry. Went to the Body Worlds exhibit. This exhibit feature real human specimens without skin showing the muscles, nerves, veins and organs. This is a must see for everyone. It is on through September 5, 2005. We also went to the Omnimax theater to see a movie "the Human Body". We also saw Toymaker 3000, Yesterday's Main Street, Robots Like US and a great exhibit visiting from UCLA called the Virtual 1893 Chicago Worlds Fair. It is a computer simulation using a system called the Urban Simulator. This takes you on a virtual tour of the fair, also called the Columbian Exposition. You can really get a sense of the grandour of the fair and all the marvels of architecture in the Victorian era. I am an avid fan of the Columbian Exposition and this was fantastic!

Humor - T-Shirts

A WASHINGTON POST columnist runs a column each summer listing interesting WOMEN'S T-shirts observed at the Ocean City, Maryland beach.



1. I CHILDPROOFED MY HOUSE, BUT THEY STILL GET IN.



2. (On the front) 60 IS NOT OLD. (On the back) IF YOU'RE A TREE.



3. I'M STILL HOT... IT JUST COMES IN FLASHES.



4. AT MY AGE, "GETTING LUCKY" MEANS FINDING MY CAR IN THE PARKING LOT.



5. MY REALITY CHECK JUST BOUNCED.



6. LIFE IS SHORT. MAKE FUN OF IT.



7. I'M NOT 50. I'M $49.95 PLUS TAX.



8. ANNAPOLIS--A DRINKING TOWN WITH A SAILOR PROBLEM.



9. I NEED SOMEBODY BAD... ARE YOU BAD?



10. PHYSICALLY PFFFFFT!



11. BUCKLE UP. IT MAKES IT HARDER FOR THE ALIENS TO SNATCH YOU FROM YOUR CAR.



12. I'M NOT A SNOB. I'M JUST BETTER THAN YOU ARE.



13. IT'S MY CAT'S WORLD. I'M JUST HERE TO OPEN CANS.



14. EARTH IS THE INSANE ASYLUM OF THE UNIVERSE.



15. KEEP STARING....I MAY DO A TRICK.



16. WE GOT RID OF THE KIDS. THE CAT WAS ALLERGIC.



17. DANGEROUSLY UNDER-MEDICATED.



18. MY MIND WORKS LIKE LIGHTNING. ONE BRILLIANT FLASH AND IT'S GONE.



19. EVERY TIME I HEAR THE DIRTY WORD "EXERCISE", I WASH MY MOUTH OUT WITH CHOCOLATE.



20. CATS REGARD PEOPLE AS WARM-BLOODED FURNITURE.



21. LIVE YOUR LIFE SO THAT WHEN YOU DIE, THE PREACHER WILL NOT HAVE TO TELL LIES AT YOUR FUNERAL.



22. IN GOD WE TRUST. ALL OTHERS WE POLYGRAPH

Weekend Fun is Over

Had a wonderful weekend! Went out for Chinese food and played miniture golf on Saturday. My 4 children (puppies) and wife bought me a starter set of golf clubs and I went out with a couple of friends and played 9 holes on Sunday at Plum Tree National Golf Course in Harvard, IL. Didn't play well, but had a great time. The weather was perfect. Finished up Sunday with a delicious BBQ Rib dinner with friends, went home and crashed.

What I'm Listening To:

Styx - Big Band Theory
This album contains covers of classic rock songs. A interesting blend. I haven't been a big fan of Styx since Dennis DeYoung left the group, but this is worth a listen.




What I'm Reading:

THE BEST HEADLINES OF 2004

THE BEST HEADLINES OF 2004:

Crack Found on Governor's Daughter
[Imagine that!]

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
[No, really?]

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
[Now that's taking things a bit far!]

Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?
[Not if I wipe thoroughly!]

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
[What a guy!]

Miners Refuse to Work after Death
[No-good-for-nothin' lazy so-and-sos!]

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
[See if that works any better than a fair trial!]

War Dims Hope for Peace
[I can see where it might have that effect!]

If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
[Ya think?]

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
[Who would have thought!]

Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
[They may be on to something!]

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
[You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?]

Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge
[He probably IS the battery charge!]

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
[Weren't they fat enough?]

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
[That's what he gets for eating those beans!]

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
[Taste like chicken?]

Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
[Chainsaw Massacre all over again!]

Hospitals are Sued by Seven Foot Doctors
[Boy, are they tall!]

And the winner is....

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead(Can you believe it?)

Accolo - Spicy Paris Parody Video

Accolo

This is the male answer to the Carl's Jr. Paris Hilton Commercial - Enjoy Ladies?

Today is Car Show Night

Not much going on, except tonight is Classic Car Show Night in Downtown Crystal Lake. I will once again be one of the DJs for tonight's event. This will be my 3rd week in a row. I was brought out of retirement for the month of June, since the regular DJ was not available. Kinda feels good playing again.

If you live in the area and have never been to the Classic Car Night, it is a must to see. It is held every Thursday until Sept. 1 and features about 500-600 cars. This week will feature the 2005 Pontiac Performance Trailer with 4 race cars on it. It is being sponsered by The Gary Lang Auto Group. For more information, go to the Classic Car Night web site - http://www.downtowncl.org/Calendar%20of%20Events/classic_car_cruise_night.htm.

What I'm Reading:
'>Franenstein - Dean Koontz

What I'm Listening To:
'>Aquaria - Diane Arkenstone
'>Perfect Balance

What I'm Watching:
The Next Food Network Star - This is a fun show. It shows what goes on behind the scenes for all the cooking shows.
The 4400 - If you are into Sci-Fi and aliens, this is the show for you. We watched it last summer and got hooked. It's about the 4400 people who have disappeared over the last century and how they were returned to Earth with new and mysterious powers. Or maybe they never left Earth at all!