A new pastor was visiting in the homes of his parishioners. At one house it seemed obvious that someone was at home, but no answer came to his repeated knocks at the door. Therefore, he took out a card and wrote "Revelation 3:20" on the back of it and stuck it in the door.
When the offering was processed the following Sunday, he found that his
card had been returned. Added to it was this cryptic message, "Genesis 3:10."
Reaching for his Bible to check out the citation, he broke up in gales of laughter.
Revelation 3:20 begins "Behold, I stand at the door and knock."
Genesis 3:10 reads, "I heard your voice in the garden and I was afraid for I was naked."
Remember when the funniest jokes were the clean ones? They still are!
"A cheerful heart is good medicine" (Prov. 17:22a)
Friday, February 04, 2005
TOP 7 MORONS OF 2004
1. WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP?
AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked
intellectual leadership. He received a $26 million severance package.
Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking intelligence.
2. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS:
Police in Oakland, CA, spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself
inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered
that the man was standing beside them in the police line, shouting, "Please
come out and give yourself up."
3. WHAT WAS PLAN B???
An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist a nd forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines, wherein the kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts.
4. THE GETAWAY!
A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Stop and asked for all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small; so, he tied up the store clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours until police showed up and grabbed him.
5. DID I SAY THAT???
Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a
robbery suspect who just couldn't control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words: "Give me all your money or I'll shoot", the man shouted, "that's not what I said!"
6. ARE WE COMMUNICATING???
A man spoke frantically into the phone: "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart." "Is this her first child?" the doctor asked. "No!" the man shouted, "This is her husband!"
7. NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED!
In Modesto, CA, Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun.
Unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket. (hellooooooo!)
AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked
intellectual leadership. He received a $26 million severance package.
Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking intelligence.
2. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS:
Police in Oakland, CA, spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself
inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered
that the man was standing beside them in the police line, shouting, "Please
come out and give yourself up."
3. WHAT WAS PLAN B???
An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist a nd forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines, wherein the kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts.
4. THE GETAWAY!
A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Stop and asked for all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small; so, he tied up the store clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours until police showed up and grabbed him.
5. DID I SAY THAT???
Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a
robbery suspect who just couldn't control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words: "Give me all your money or I'll shoot", the man shouted, "that's not what I said!"
6. ARE WE COMMUNICATING???
A man spoke frantically into the phone: "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart." "Is this her first child?" the doctor asked. "No!" the man shouted, "This is her husband!"
7. NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED!
In Modesto, CA, Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun.
Unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket. (hellooooooo!)
The Memory Exhibition
The Memory Exhibition
My favorites are:
Droodles
Common Cents
If Your'e going to rob a bank
Don't Forget
My favorites are:
Droodles
Common Cents
If Your'e going to rob a bank
Don't Forget
Wednesday, February 02, 2005
New Flash!
I found the missing fish! He/she was beneath the ice. After some more melting happened he appeared. Let's hope there are no more casualties this winter. If you didn't already watch it, check out the post before this one - Dedication to our troops. If you are on a dialup, it takes about 10 minutes to load, but it is worth it!
Tuesday, February 01, 2005
Not Much Going On!
Been a little crazy, my mother had to go to the hospital and spent 4 days there. She's back home feeling chipper. The weather is nice, above freezing for the last few days and it is supposed to stay like that the rest of the week.
My pond is starting to defrost and I have found 1 dead fish. I know for sure that 4 are alive, I can see them swimming, but 1 is MIA right now.
What I am reading:
What I am watching:
I think that's about all for now!
My pond is starting to defrost and I have found 1 dead fish. I know for sure that 4 are alive, I can see them swimming, but 1 is MIA right now.
What I am reading:
What I am watching:
I think that's about all for now!
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