George Barris and Butch Patrick

Last night, Class Car Night in Downtown Crystal Lake had the privilage of having George Barris and Butch Patrick stop by and say hello. They are appearing at the Volo Auto Museum on July 3rd. Both of these guys are class acts and it was a pleasure to meet them.

Here I am with George Barris, King of the Customs. George is a true genius with cars!


Here I am with the legendary star of stage and screen - Butch Patrick! What a great guy!

Here I am with George, Butch and a woman from the Volo Auto Museum! If you get the chance, go see George and Butch there on July 3rd, 2005. You will be glad you went!

Humor - Actual 911 Calls

Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?
Caller: I heard what sounded like gunshots coming from the brown house on the corner.
Dispatcher: Do you have an address?
Caller: No, I'm wearing a blouse and slacks, why?

Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?
Caller: Someone broke into my house and took a bite out of my ham and cheese sandwich.
Dispatcher: Excuse me?
Caller: I made a ham and cheese sandwich and left it on the kitchen table and when I came back from the bathroom, someone had taken a bite out of it.
Dispatcher: Was anything else taken?
Caller: No, but this has happened to me before and I'm sick and tired of it.

Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?
Caller: Hi, is this the Police?
Dispatcher: This is 9-1-1. Do you need police assistance?
Caller: Well, I don't know who to call. Can you tell me how to cook a turkey? I've never cooked one before.

Dispatcher: 9-1-1 Fire or emergency?Caller: Fire, I guess.Dispatcher: How can I help you sir?Caller: I was wondering.....does the fire department put snow chains on their trucks?Dispatcher: Yes sir, do you have an emergency?
Caller: Well, I've spent the last 4 hours trying to put these chains on my tires and... well.. do you think the fire department could come over and help me?
Dispatcher: Help you what?
Caller: Help me get these chains on my car!

Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is the nature of your emergency?
Caller: I'm trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn't have an eleven on it.
Dispatcher: This is nine eleven.
Caller: I thought you just said it was nine-one-one
Dispatcher: Yes, ma'am nine-one-one and nine-eleven are the same thing.
Caller: Honey, I may be old, but I'm not stupid.

Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What's the nature of your emergency?
Caller: My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart.
Dispatcher: Is this her first child?
Caller: No, you idiot! This is her husband!

And the winner is..........

Dispatcher: 9-1-1
Caller: Yeah, I'm having trouble breathing. I'm all out of breath. Darn....I think I'm going to pass out.
Dispatcher: Sir, where are you calling from?
Caller: I'm at a pay phone. North and Foster.Dispatcher: Sir, an ambulance is on the way. Are you an asthmatic?
Caller: No
Dispatcher: What were you doing before you started having trouble breathing?
Caller: Running from the Police.

Pictures From My Sister's Anniversary Blowout

I love calling party's blowouts. It's not a word you get to use often enough! ;-)
What consititutes a blowout anyway?

From left to right - my sister Dawn, my brother-in-law Tom's sister Mitzi, her husband Tom and my brother-in-law Tom

My niece Randee and her husband Mike

From left to right - my nephew Scott's wife Gail, my nephew Scott, my nephew Curt's wife Michele and my nephew Curt.

My great-nice Bridgette eating cake. This is my niece Randee's youngest daughter.

Not shown:

Gail and Scott's two daughters - Abigail and Sarah

Randee and Mike other 2 children - Kelsey and Benjamin

Michele and Curt's two daughters - Haley and Kelly

Last Couple O' Days

Had a great extended weekend!

On Saturday we went to a graduation party at our friends house Cindy and Stash for their son Danny. Food was good, but more important the company was great. It's always nice seeing friends that you don't see often and getting together in a casual social setting to just plain simple... shoot the bullcrap!

Sunday came along and after during yardwork in the hot sun, we went to my sister Dawn and her husband Tom's wedding anniversary party. They have been married 45 years! God Bless them! My brother-in-law threw the party at a mexican restaurant - El Meson Mexican Restaurant in Schaumburg. Char and I dined on the El Meson Combination dinner. It consisted of a seasoned skirt steak, a chicken taco and a chicken enchilada. Very tasty!

Monday, I took the day off. We took a ride into Chicago and went to the Museum of Science and Industry. Went to the Body Worlds exhibit. This exhibit feature real human specimens without skin showing the muscles, nerves, veins and organs. This is a must see for everyone. It is on through September 5, 2005. We also went to the Omnimax theater to see a movie "the Human Body". We also saw Toymaker 3000, Yesterday's Main Street, Robots Like US and a great exhibit visiting from UCLA called the Virtual 1893 Chicago Worlds Fair. It is a computer simulation using a system called the Urban Simulator. This takes you on a virtual tour of the fair, also called the Columbian Exposition. You can really get a sense of the grandour of the fair and all the marvels of architecture in the Victorian era. I am an avid fan of the Columbian Exposition and this was fantastic!

Humor - T-Shirts

A WASHINGTON POST columnist runs a column each summer listing interesting WOMEN'S T-shirts observed at the Ocean City, Maryland beach.



1. I CHILDPROOFED MY HOUSE, BUT THEY STILL GET IN.



2. (On the front) 60 IS NOT OLD. (On the back) IF YOU'RE A TREE.



3. I'M STILL HOT... IT JUST COMES IN FLASHES.



4. AT MY AGE, "GETTING LUCKY" MEANS FINDING MY CAR IN THE PARKING LOT.



5. MY REALITY CHECK JUST BOUNCED.



6. LIFE IS SHORT. MAKE FUN OF IT.



7. I'M NOT 50. I'M $49.95 PLUS TAX.



8. ANNAPOLIS--A DRINKING TOWN WITH A SAILOR PROBLEM.



9. I NEED SOMEBODY BAD... ARE YOU BAD?



10. PHYSICALLY PFFFFFT!



11. BUCKLE UP. IT MAKES IT HARDER FOR THE ALIENS TO SNATCH YOU FROM YOUR CAR.



12. I'M NOT A SNOB. I'M JUST BETTER THAN YOU ARE.



13. IT'S MY CAT'S WORLD. I'M JUST HERE TO OPEN CANS.



14. EARTH IS THE INSANE ASYLUM OF THE UNIVERSE.



15. KEEP STARING....I MAY DO A TRICK.



16. WE GOT RID OF THE KIDS. THE CAT WAS ALLERGIC.



17. DANGEROUSLY UNDER-MEDICATED.



18. MY MIND WORKS LIKE LIGHTNING. ONE BRILLIANT FLASH AND IT'S GONE.



19. EVERY TIME I HEAR THE DIRTY WORD "EXERCISE", I WASH MY MOUTH OUT WITH CHOCOLATE.



20. CATS REGARD PEOPLE AS WARM-BLOODED FURNITURE.



21. LIVE YOUR LIFE SO THAT WHEN YOU DIE, THE PREACHER WILL NOT HAVE TO TELL LIES AT YOUR FUNERAL.



22. IN GOD WE TRUST. ALL OTHERS WE POLYGRAPH

Weekend Fun is Over

Had a wonderful weekend! Went out for Chinese food and played miniture golf on Saturday. My 4 children (puppies) and wife bought me a starter set of golf clubs and I went out with a couple of friends and played 9 holes on Sunday at Plum Tree National Golf Course in Harvard, IL. Didn't play well, but had a great time. The weather was perfect. Finished up Sunday with a delicious BBQ Rib dinner with friends, went home and crashed.

What I'm Listening To:

Styx - Big Band Theory
This album contains covers of classic rock songs. A interesting blend. I haven't been a big fan of Styx since Dennis DeYoung left the group, but this is worth a listen.




What I'm Reading:

THE BEST HEADLINES OF 2004

THE BEST HEADLINES OF 2004:

Crack Found on Governor's Daughter
[Imagine that!]

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
[No, really?]

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
[Now that's taking things a bit far!]

Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?
[Not if I wipe thoroughly!]

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
[What a guy!]

Miners Refuse to Work after Death
[No-good-for-nothin' lazy so-and-sos!]

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
[See if that works any better than a fair trial!]

War Dims Hope for Peace
[I can see where it might have that effect!]

If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
[Ya think?]

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
[Who would have thought!]

Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
[They may be on to something!]

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
[You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?]

Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge
[He probably IS the battery charge!]

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
[Weren't they fat enough?]

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
[That's what he gets for eating those beans!]

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
[Taste like chicken?]

Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
[Chainsaw Massacre all over again!]

Hospitals are Sued by Seven Foot Doctors
[Boy, are they tall!]

And the winner is....

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead(Can you believe it?)

Accolo - Spicy Paris Parody Video

Accolo

This is the male answer to the Carl's Jr. Paris Hilton Commercial - Enjoy Ladies?