Laws of The Natural Universe

These are the laws of the natural universe:

Law of Mechanical Repair:
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.

Law of the Workshop:
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

Law of the Telephone:
When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.

Law of the Alibi:
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire,
the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

Variation Law:
If you change lines or traffic lanes, the one you were in will start to
move faster than the one you are in now.

Bath Theorem:
When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

Law of Lines:
When you walk IN the grocery store, there's never anyone in
the checkout line.

Inverse Hair Dryer Law:
You're sure you hear the phone ringing in the background,
until you turn the hair dryer off.

Law of Close Encounters:
The probability of meeting someone you know increases when
you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

Law of the Result:
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

Law of Bio mechanics:
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

Theater Law:
At any event, the people whose seats are farthest from the
aisle arrive last.

Law of Coffee:
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will
ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

Murphy's Law of Lockers:
If there are only two people in a locker room,
they will have adjacent lockers.

Law of Natural Attraction:
If you and your date are the only two on a five-mile stretch of beach,
the family of five will set up right next to you.

Law of Dirty Rugs/Carpets:
The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a
floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of
the carpet/rug.

Law of Location:
No matter where you go, there you are.

Law of Logical Argument:
Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

Oliver's Law:
A closed mouth gathers no feet.

Law of the Last Word:
"Hey, watch this!"